Saturday, August 7, 2010


Actress: Grace Jones

Undead In: Vamp

What. The hell. Is this. We're all for our sexy vampires embracing a bit of the weird and wonderful, but Grace Jones' vampire queen Katrina of the 1986 flick Vamp looks like Ronald McDonald went rifling through Leeloo from The 5th Element's wardrobe.


Actress: Claudia Black

Undead In: Queen of the Damned

Claudia's Pandora may not have been given too much to do in the movie adaptation of Anne Rice's novel Queen of the Damned, but literary fans will be happy to know that Pandora has her own novel detailing her vampiric exploits.

Say, is that the same Claudia Black of Stargate: SG-1 fame? Hmm...

Lesbian Vampire Killers

Actress: Uh...

Undead In: Lesbian Vampire Killers

The movie is called Lesbian Vampire Killers. That's the title. Lesbian Vampire Killers. It needs no explanation. You have that picture right there, and the name Lesbian Vampire Killers. You are leaving to rent this movie immediately.


Actress: Clare Kramer

Undead In: The Thirst

Quitting anything cold turkey is hard enough as it is without dealing with pesky issues of sunlight exposure and holy water. But from the looks of sexy Buffy alum Clare Kramer as Lisa in Vampire junkie drama The Thirst, a little blood is the least of her problems.


Actress: Phina Oruche

Undead In: The Forsaken

You may not have heard of supernatural road-trip vampire flick The Forsaken but if Phina Oruche's Cym is any indication, you should be more than willing to pick up a copy to get your fill of sexy vampire ladies.

Or at the very least, you can get your fill of Phina with our Women of Whedon.


Actress: Leonor Varela

Undead In: Blade II

With a character as tragic as Blade, you'd think he'd know not to fall in love with vampire royalty during a crisis that necessitates the collaboration of himself and vampires. We'd have a hard time staying away from Nyssa too, but you know that things are going to end badly when her brother plans on eradicating their father and turning the rest of the race into demons with giant vagina-mouths.

Claire Radcliff

Actress: Rhona Mitra

Undead In: The Gates

We may not know too much about ABC's new supernatural drama The Gates, other than the fact that they haven't had too much luck with finding engaging shows to replace LOST.

But hey, maybe The Gates has a shot in hell of picking up where Happytown left off. Rhona Mitra as a sexy vampire? Sold.


Actress: Rhona Mitra

Undead In: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Making her first of two appearances on this countdown portraying two very different vampires, first up is Rhona Mitra's Underworld appearance as Sonja. Sonja, daughter of the elder Viktor played a crucial part in the beginning of the Vampire-Lycan war, concieving but never birthing the first hybrid, her death providing the first casualty in a centuries long battle.

Jeez, with a history this complicated, you'd think humanity would've had some idea of the conflict.

Jesse Reeves

Actress: Marguerite Moreau

Undead In: Queen of the Damned

Hardly playing second fiddle to Aaliyah's Queen Akasha was Marguerite Moreau's Jesse Reeves, paranormal researcher turned vampire in the climax. LOST fans might recognize Marguerite as Starla, Hurley's one-time girlfriend, but the eagle-eyed would remember her as Connie of The Mighty Ducks Trilogy.

Jane Of The Volturi

Actress: Dakota Fanning

Undead In: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Okay, so maybe Dakota's underage, but vampires are immortal and Jane of the Volturi's been alive for hundreds of years, right?


Actress: Jamie Gertz

Undead In: The Lost Boys

Unless The Lost Boys was before your time, you know you fell for the sultry minx Star, vampire temptress and gang member. She may have returned to normal at the end, but who could blame someone for the minute indiscretion of trucking around with Kiefer Sutherland?

Bianca St. Claire

Actress: Joanne Kelly

Undead In: The Dresden Files

You might not have caught the Syfy channel's adaptation of The Dresden Files from supernatural novels to live action TV, given that it only ran for one season, but those in the know would remember Joanne Kelly's portrayal of Bianca St. Claire, the vampire Madam of the Red Court. She may have been a lot friendlier than her literary counterpart, but that doesn't mean she didn't have plenty of bite left in her.

Mina Harker - LXG Version

Actress: Peta Wilson

Undead In: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

We know what you're thinking. We've already had one iteration of Mina Harker on this list, so how can we do a second? Because Winona Ryder just doesn't do the character justice the way sexy Peta Wilson gets things done.

Sure, the rest of the movie blows, but since when have movies needed anything more than eye candy? Cough, Avatar, cough.

Monica Bellucci

Actress: Monica Bellucci

Undead In: Real Life

We like to think that this entry is less about Monica's turn as one of the brides of Dracula in Bram Stoker's Dracula (starring the excellent Gary Oldman), and more about the actress herself. Because no matter what part she plays, Monica always has a "queen of the undead" vibe to her, which does suggest the probability of Monica Bellucci being an actual vampire in real life.


Actress: Kristanna Loken

Undead In: BloodRayne

Poor Kristanna Loken. First her rise to fame with critical flop Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines goes nowhere, then Uwe Boll becomes aware of her existence. Thus, her career was ruined forever.

In all seriousness, at least Kristanna's vampire (or dhampir) heroine BloodRayne really does lend creedence to the "sexy vampire" thing, even if it did manage to throw Ben Kingsley off his game.

Miriam Blaylock

Actress: Catherine Deneuve

Undead In: The Hunger

Initially I'd never heard of this movie, but the more you learn about it, the better it seems. First off, Catherine Deneuve is just hot. Secondly, The Sovereign himself, David Bowie plays one of vampire mistress Miriam Blaylock's husbands. But none of that compares to the fact that Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon totally do it.

Lucy Westenra

Actress: Sadie Frost

Undead In: Bram Stoker's Dracula

A classic character of the original Bram Stoker novel, Lucy has made numerous apperances across various re-tellings, usually as a friend to Mina Harker, and an aristocratic layabout eventually transformed into a vampire and mercifully slain by her fiancee and Van Helsing to be spared damnation.

Also, Dracula turned her to vampirism by raping her. Raise your hand if you were unaware vampires could do that. Look out, True Blood.


Actress: Sophia Myles

Undead In: Underworld

Sometimes even being a vampire just doesn't quench your thirst for power, like Sophia Miles vampire socialite Erika in Underworld. While somewhat friendly to Selene, Erika royally overreacts to the presence of a future werewolf, and alerts Kraven to Selene's betrayal. She never gets the affection from Kraven she craves, and winds up out in the cold, presumably killed in the second film.


Actress: Kelly Hu

Undead In: The Vampire Diaries

You know, it never seems like they make any unattractive men or women into vampires, and Kelly Hu's Pearl is no exception. Portraying one of the ancient Tomb Vampires, most fans would recognize Kelly from her roles on the spin-off prequel The Scorpion King and X2: X-Men United.

Even in Victorian garb, this sexy vampire boils our blood.

Alice Cullen

Actress: Ashley Greene

Undead In: The Twilight Saga

As long as you're going to become an edgy vampire with the uncanny ability to sparkle in the sunlight, you might as well do it with style. Ashley Greene's spunky coiffed Alice Cullen provides the useful (yet inexplicable) gift of foresight throughout the Twilight Saga, but unfortunately couldn't tell that Bella was cliff-diving instead of jumping to her death.

Like anyone would be so torn up over Robert Pattinson. But he is dreamy.


Actress: Danielle Nicolet

Undead In: Angel's "Harm's Way

We've all had that rival at work who gets more of the boss' attention and ever closer to climbing that corporate ladder. Where we might diverge from Danielle Nicolet's Tamika on the other hand, is concocting an elaborate plot to murder the dignitary of an upcoming peace-talk and frame that co-worker for the job.

The things a girl has to do to get ahead in this world.


Actress: Valerie Cruz

Undead In: True Blood

A human being kept as a sexy vampire's pet? Where do we sign up? Valerie Cruz' vampire lieutenant Isabel kept an interesting relationship with Fellowship of the Sun infiltrator Hugo, but we're more interested in what's to become of her after Godric's suicide, and the power vacuum it created.

And looking for vampire mistresses of our own.

Mina Harker

Actress: Winona Ryder

Undead In: Bram Stoker's Dracula

Okay, so definitely the less cool of the Mina Harker's on our list, but hey, we can't help but love Winona. Initially a friend to the tragically not-long-for-this world Lucy Wesentra, Mina too, finds herself under the thrall of the dark master, eventually freeing herself of the trappings of fang-dom by killing Dracula herself.


Actress: Sanaa Lathan

Undead In: Blade

Those who weren't paying too much keen attention to the film might not have realized that the very vampire Deacon Frost bedded night after night was the same woman at the film's outset who gave birth to Blade!

Jeez, talk about sticking it to him.

Amelia The Elder

Actress: Zita Gorog

Undead In: Underworld / Underworld: Evolution

Is it weird when the name of the actress sounds scarier than "Amelia, the vampire elder of the Underworld universe?" As the only female elder, Amelia was ambushed and eventually drained of all her blood in the hopes of creating a vampire-werewolf hybrid, but eventually returned in flashback to see her involvement in the creation of the first werewolf.

There is no Dana. Only Zita Gorog.

Rosalie Hale

Actress: Nikki Reed

Undead In: The Twilight Saga

In a family that has all of its members technically adopted, it's strange to see one vampire that the family actually considers to be an adopted child. Then again, I suppose the statuesque icy blonde Rosalie Hale might not fit in so well with the rest of the darkly brooding Cullens. In any case, Rosalie's troubled past with assault and pregnancy and torture doesn't stop her from being one of our favorite vampire hotties.

Vampire Buffy

Actress: Sarah Michelle Gellar

Undead In: Buffy's "Nightmares"

Vampire the...Buffy...Slayer? Unlike Vampire Willow, Vampire Buffy only made one appearance in the series, and unfortunately only as a nightmare. When a young boy begins inadvertently trapping people inside of their nightmares, Buffy finds herself crawling out of her own grave (wouldn't be the last time) and finding her face a little bumpier than she's used to as a vampire.

Makes you wonder, could the vampires ever tell if a human simply put themselves in vampire make-up?

Santanico Pandemonium

Actress: Salma Hayek

Undead In: From Dusk 'Til Dawn

Aside from having the best character name ever, Santanico Pandemonium, Salma Hayek's vampire princess of the Robert Rodriguez-directed, Quentin Tarantino produced From Dusk 'Til Dawn has the honor of...

I looked at the picture and lost my train of thought.


Actress: Kate Beckinsale

Undead In: Underworld / Underworld: Evolution

Putting Kate Beckinsale into a tight latex bodysuit, giving her ice blue contact lences and strapping more guns to her than Lara Croft? Brilliant! Let's give her a troubled past, a werewolf love interest and turn her into an immortal vampire goddess in the sequel! Brilliant! Then we'll put her out in a third movie, and make even MORE money!


Actress: Bryce Dallas Howard

Undead In: The Twilight Saga

Poor Rachel Lefevre. She originates the role of disgruntled vampire Victoria, only to have the part re-cast just as the character gets her meatiest role to play. Oh well, only fitting that she have the part ripped away from her like her vampire lover James.

Victoria's got a bone to pick with Bella and the Cullens for killing her man in the first installment, and makes her move in Eclipse. Oh, vampires. Always avenging something or other.

Queen Akasha

Actress: Aaliyah

Undead In: Queen of the Damned

Long live Aaliyah. May she be remembered as the Queen of R&B as well as the Queen of the Damned. Her role as Queen Akasha of Anne Rice's lore may not have broken box office records, but we'll always remember that smokin' vampire queen get-up.


Actress: Anne Openshaw

Undead In: Supernatural

Hmm...a sexy female vampire has her mate killed, and flees into the night vowing revenge...

Sounds familiar.


Actress: Juliet Landau

Undead In: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel

The more we think about it, the less possible it seems to imagine Juliet Landau as anyone but the whimsically unbalanced vampire, Drusilla. We may not have understood anything she said, but as one of the Women of Whedon we'd still let her bite us any day of the week.

Nan Flanagan

Actress: Jessica Tuck

Undead In: True Blood

In a world where vampires openly co-exist with humans, you better believe they're gonna need good publicity. Enter Nan Flanagan, head of the American Vampire League and public spokesperson against vampire violence.

Because that doesn't sound like an allegory of anything we've ever heard of.

Danica Talos

Actress: Parker Posey

Undead In: Blade: Trinity

Ex-girlfriends are never easy to deal with, especially when they're capable of ripping your heart out of your chest and stomping all over it.


Danica Talos lived only to serve her real master Drake (Dracula), not caring if former lover Ryan Reynolds got in the way, or went after her vampire pomeranian. He got the last laugh though, because that hair is...ridiculous.


Actress: Julie Benz

Undead In: Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel

Having caught up on our Dexter, it never feels quite natural to watch Julie Benz as a doting housewife compared to the coolly vindictive vampire Darla, original sire to Angel. Darla got her dusty end seven episodes into the first season, but went on to a major plot in Angel's third season, as well as making numerous appearances in flashback.

But as Dexter fans know, things rarely end smoothly for Julie.

Esme Cullen

Actress: Elizabeth Reaser

Undead In: The Twilight Saga

Even a vampire needs a mother, even if all the Cullens technically make for a vampire pack that likes to pretend they're family. Elizabeth Reaser's Esme Cullen, while physically only twenty-six, definitely tops our list of vampire MILFs, providing comfort to Bella and Edward alike, and even offering them a small island on which to spend a honeymoon's worth of bonage on.

So thoughtful.

Marishka, Aleera, and Verona

Actresses: Josie Maran, Elena Anaya, Silvia Colloca

Undead In: Van Helsing

What, you thought we should take each bride seperately? The Brides of Dracula are rarely seen apart, even when given such thoughtful attention in Stephen Sommers' Van Helsing, being individually named for the first time. Not only named, but also given powerful abilities of their own, complete with shrieking demon-bat forms with which to battle the titular hero.

We liked them better when they were just seductive.

Mercury Blade

Actress: Arly Jover

Undead In: Blade

She may not have had a pivotal role in the film, but who doesn't remember Deacon Frost's icy blonde vampire companion Mercury, portayed by model/actress Arly Jover? After all, she was the one to introduce us to that whole "sunblock will keep us from exploding" thing. Why didn't any other vampires think of that?

She also fell victim to the 4th coolest weapon against vampires portrayed in the film: garlic mace.

Vicki Donovan

Actress: Kayla Ewell

Undead In: The Vampire Diaries

I know, who even watches this show, right? It's not like we don't have enough vampire universes to keep track of as it is, but when the girls look as good as Kayla Ewell, what's one more?

Vicki started human before bites from Damon and some harsh words from Stefan led to her completing her transformation into the undead, but it wouldn't be long before a good staking took care of that.

Sophie Anne

Actress: Evan Rachel Wood

Undead In: True Blood

Turns out Aaliyah isn't the only Queen of the Damned. Evan Rachel Wood's sensual Queen Sophie Anne rules over Louisiana with an iron fang, keeping mostly to herself in a lavish mansion with a cadre of bodyguards, but never hesitating to slice off a little for herself, forcing Eric to sell the vampire's blood.

Gotta wonder if Marilyn Manson likes having a vampire queen at his disposal.


Actress: Mariana Klaveno

Undead In: True Blood

Admittedly, I don't watch much True Blood. But when Bill Condon's biggest problems revolve around his relationship with Anna Paquin, his turning of Jessica Hamby, and his ex-lover and sire Mariana Klaveno's Lorena, is life really so bad?

Disdainful of human life and nefarious as she may be, Mariana's too gorgeous to not want to take a bite out of.

Isobel Flemming-Saltzman

Actress: Mia Kirshner

Undead In: The Vampire Diaries

What would you do if your mother became a vampire? It's a more common conundrum than you might think in vampire fiction, occurring in Buffy and Twilight, among others. In any case, Mia Kirshner takes a break from sexual deviancy in The L Word to supernatural deviancy as Isobel Flemming, mother to Elena and eventual vampire, having been sired by Damon.

Oedipus complex, we hardly knew ye.


Actress: Kristin Bauer

Undead In: True Blood

As far as men go, there aren't too many better word pairings than "bisexual vampire," and that's exactly what Kristin Bauer's Pam brings to the table. Second in command to Eric and employee of Fangtasia, True Blood fans will be happy to get a longer taste of Pam's lesbian weirdness in season three.

Vampire Willow

Actress: Alyson Hannigan

Undead In: Buffy's "The Wish" and "Dopplegangland"

At least this evil twin didn't have a goatee. The nerdly loveable Willow really lets her dark side out in an alternate universe where Sunnydale was run by vampires, a character Joss Whedon liked so much he brought her back for a second episode.

Hot as she is, we don't know what to do with the idea of Alyson Hannigan coming onto herself.


Actress: Amber Benson

Undead In: Supernatural

The good people over at Supernatural have a good sense of humor in their casting. Amber Benson, most prominently known as innocent human witch Tara Maclay on Buffy the Vampire Slayer finally got her fangy dreams realized when cast as vampire Lenore. Those uncomfortable with seeing such a sweet actress play a murderous demon can breathe easy, as Lenore did her best to stick to cattle blood.

Jessica Hamby

Actress: Deborah Anne Woll

Undead In: True Blood

Some justice system. If Bill's punishment for killing a fellow vampire at the end of season one was to take a bite out of Deborah Anne Woll's Jessica Hamby, what do they do to the mass murderers?

Anna Paquin AND Deborah Anne Woll? We should all be so lucky.

Harmony Kendall / Lucy

Actress: Mercedes McNab

Undead In: Buffy The Vampire Slayer / Supernatural

Speaking of that sense of humor the people at Supernatural have, what better part to offer a girl most famous for playing a ditzy vampire on Buffy the Vampire Slayer than that of another vampire?

Harmony Kendall may have enjoyed a long recurring stint as Buffy's sometime nemesis and eventually Angel's secretary, but Lucy was given far less time to spread her fangs. What's next, Sarah Michelle Gellar as the Vampire Queen?

Bella Swan

Actress: Kristen Stewart

Undead In: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

Okay, so we've never actually seen Kristen Stewart as a vampire, but any good Twilight fan (admit it, you knew about this too) knows that mopey-dopey Bella Swan eventually takes her last rites to become an undead wife to lover Edward Cullen.

And when she does, you know she's gonna look at least as good as Robert Pattinson.

Charlotte Wells

Actress: Alyssa Milano

Undead In: Embrace of the Vampire

Now, I know what all you vampire movie buffs will cry "But she doesn't actually become a vampire in that movie!"...but people, I humbly submit to you: who cares? Alyssa Milano spends near of this entire movie topless, and hooking up with one vampire or another, and that's all that matters.

Plus, she's the re-incarnation of a Transylvanian Princess. Or something. Who cares? Look at what happens in this movie. (NSFW)

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